"Thats' the way I am..."

This is a statement we hear quite often both from the young and the old alike... Flexibility, the adaptability to mould oneself is increasing and decreasing at the same time. It is increasing perhaps in the adults today, that is, the previous generation. With the advent of the tech-age, our parents find it difficult to relate to our generation. What I have seen around is that the women of that era have rather adapted themselves well to this current world, to us and our lives. My mother has done that quite a bit. Actually, her case is no different...

She has spend her prime time and about 50% of her life taking care of her family- the in-laws, husband, children etc etc. She is a perfect example of a perfect womanhood whose been an excellent daughter, wife, sister, mother, friend, guide......... but all her life, she never met and did anything for herself. She did not think it to be important enough to form and nurture a relationship with her own self, so much so, she never even prepared a dish to her liking.

Her twentys was a lot of fun with education being her priority and recreational activities defined her life then. Life changed rather too dramatically for her and kitchen became her life.

After 30 years, we decided to make her breathe now. She will now pursue her interests in life after three decades and she is ready to take this fun challenging roller coaster ride by giving a head-start to her passions now.

Mum, I realise it is difficult for you. When a 4-year old just around and says, "thats' the way I do it!", we know it is his comfort zone to do things the way he is used to doing and does not wish to come out of his shell. But here you are whose ready to take off ;-) and face the world when not much is in your favour.

I wish you luck and I pray for you. I bow down for it is a courageous act which can be thought by only a woman of your virtues...

Kudos, Mommy!!! :-)

Humanity is still breathing.......

A human mind is extremely complex and what occurs at which level, it is equally complex to understand!!! One fine day, my mother just decided to keep a chaliya and choose a Gurudwara near by, convenient enough for her to walk. But somehow she forgot the traffic dynamics in the evening and the mad rush from Gurgaon makes it impossible to cross the road and hop across... Usually, I am not a traveller by foot but thanks to this beautiful weather in Delhi nowadays; one of the days, I decided to accompany her to the Gurudwara...

I am pathetic at crossing roads and that day,I got to know I inherited this from my mother!!! ;-) Somehow we managed to cross the one side of the road, right in the middle, equidistant from the signal...

After the darshan at the Gurudwara, on our way back, I "instructed" my mother to follow me since I would not prefer a road-accident a way to end this birth!!! ;-) We were struggling to move towards the signal. The rain-Gods have blessed Delhi with excellent monsoons this time; the flip side of which is the appearance of the water puddles on the road. Lifting our lowers, we were hoping against hope that our clothes do not get soiled... Traffic was usual and nobody had time to look at us and assist us in crossing the road. That moment, I saw a bus coming our way, I thought to myself, since we are walking right at the corner, what could have been a pedestrian path, our clothes will not be spared today. Somehow, I think, the driver saw the expression on my face and he almost stopped his bus so that the dirty water does not come to us and even signalled us to cross the road... I smiled looking at him and expressed my gratitude. 

Successful at crossing the main busy road, we reached home and mum got busy with chores. The incident is about 10 days old.Amazed at his silent assistance to us, yet substantial, his care and humanity would remain fresh in my mind for times to come. Here, even 2-wheelers don't stop, forget buses...Everyone is so caught in their daily affairs and competing to win a rat race. No one slows down and relaxes.

This small incident made me understand that it is very important to pause in life and not only enjoy, but have a look around to extend a helping hand, which does not cause either money or time, but can make someones' day. Also, a huge bus was thoughtful enough to saw a humans attempt to get across, in the similar manner, nothing is hidden from God, He initiates us on the path of righteousness and then for each step we take, he takes a lot many... We need to trust Him that we are of immense importance to Him and we are always loved and never ignored.

Thank you, Mr. Blueline Officer, Blessings to you :-)

CleAnLiNeSs...

"Cleanliness is next to godliness" goes an old saying and in an era like this, God is looked at only during tough times and only when we think we can not move without His guidance. Sad but so be it!!! Its' the same with cleanliness. We just can not do without it now, just can not... it is high-time. The need of the hour is cleanliness- Godliness. The world can not move on without either of these now. WHy should we litter on roads when we keep our houses clean is an age-old question to stir people's consciousness. Though without an answer, people still continue their old ways, showing no willingness to mend. For the real beuty to show, the inside needs to be brushed thoroughly- true for people, true for cities... Spirituality takes care of the cleansing of humans but that is a real private affair so lets' not intrude...

Keeping the city tidy is more complex a task and is "no one's" but everyone's responsibility, we ignore it, conveniently...

With the Commonwealth Games round the corner, various organisations and lots of individuals are taking the initiative independently. They would be successful in their own way, for a genuine effort never goes waste but who will ensure that this graph of success never comes down, for it is only for all of us!? WE!!! We can make a difference. As J. Krishnamurti says, revolution starts from an invidual, not a country.

Use dustbins, please please do not litter the roads, not with wrappers, not with filters, not with plastics, NOTHING...

Let every individua; make an effort and that would create a ripple effect and revolutionise the country. Let cleanliness be the order of the century and be our way of living. Stop littering, Stop and Be Aware...

Diastrous For A Mushrooming Economy...

Having read about India’s growing importance in the global world, one can not stop but feel a constant sense of pride and gratitude for being a part of the young generation and see your country transition and transform into a “strategically important destination”. Well, on the other side, one feels like digging ones’ own grave reading about India’s take on sensitive issues…


One such news drew my attention recently, the article about “home-makers” in the category of non-productive workers- catastrophic, to say the least!!! Such shallow act by “a future superpower” is atrocious. Yet another example of inequality in our roots... Its’ not about being a feminist but heavens’ would fall if we don’t wake up from this slumber.

Even the theoretical statement of “economically non-productive workers” is not “in-sync” with the inclusion of home-makers. Ironically, we have replaced “house-wives” with a new term symbolic of a meaning contribution of a woman to the family- “home-makers” and we consider them economically non-productive!!!

If nurturing children, taking care of the spouses, preparing food for the family, shopping for all and sundry and shaping the next generation fully and completely so that they can a carve a niche for themselves is non- productive, then the economists should shut their subject forever. Dr. Manmohan Singh, please have your economists evaluate the monetary worth of home-makers. Our GDP shall soar higher and higher…

The opportunity cost for educated woman (and in an era where even school pass-outs get a decent job, thanks to the still flourishing BPO sector), who “wish” to foster the family and not earn the bucks that attract majority, would turn out to be huge.

An old saying goes, “you are what you had for breakfast”; who does that when the dads are away on business tours and return only to pack their bags for the next one? No one here is trying to under-value men. They ensure a comfortable living for the family and work round the clock to bring the world at their children’s feet. But look at the other wheel of the vehicle also. For a vehicle to be steered as per the drivers’ wish, the conditions of the tyres need to be similar, if not the same.

Wake up India, we are getting a new face and a new place in the world; our richness of culture, history, bonding is unparalleled. Let the case be the same for our thoughts as well…

Relationships... Keep them Sacred...

In lamhon ke daaman mein

Pakiza se rishe hain
Koi kalma mohabbat ka
Dohrate farishte hain

Khamosh si hai zameen hairaan sa falak hai
Ek noor hi noor sa ab aasman talak hai

Nagmein hi nagmein hai jagti soti fizaon mein
Husn hai sari adaon mein
Ishq hai jaise hawaon mein

...Kise yeh ishq hai
Kaisa yeh khwab hai
Kaise jazbaat ka umda salab hai
Din badle raatein badli, baathein badli
Jeene ke aandaz hi badlein hai...

...Kyon hai yeh arzoo
Kyon hai yeh zustzu
Kyon dil bechain hai
Kyon dil betaab hai...
Kise yeh ishq hai

Kaisa yeh khwab hai
Kaise jazbaat ka umda salab hai
Din badle raatein badli, baathein badli
Jeene ke aandaz hi badlein hai...

Mr. Natwarlal

Had it been a normal day, I would have never got time to watch TV and that too for 3 hours!!! Its' like a record-time in 10 years... cant' ever pen down where my day goes and hence how the last year-n-a-half went by but honestly, I have had no time- nurturing my spiritual instincts, being a "witness" to my mom's life, getting close to the family and showering love to the assignment assigned... all this does not sound too much but actually took all the time I thought I had to myself...

So today, I happened to give The Amitabh-starrer “Mr. Natwarlal” my super-precious 3 hours and I could distinctly see change in the era. The way things were perceived at that time and the way people were loved has sure become a history. Though the movie is just 35 years old, it seems a century has passed by. Happiness back then did not depend upon the money people earned, the cars people kept, the size of the houses people lived in or the small lies spoken to lead a comfortable life according to ones’ self. It was a calmer, quieter, lovable abode people found solace in. Never were big things important in life, what mattered the most were the “nano”-things… As watering the seed everyday leads to the huge philanthropist-tree, people took care of the smallest things and the bigger picture just fell in place, easily and smoothly. This simple science was known to the “not-so-educated” lot of people back then but the “intelligent” being of today has lost the basics completely. Both the fame and the ambitions have taken over or the-way-i-lead-my-life-is-perfect syndrome has creped in. Interdependence was the key to survival and fostering of relationship was the source of happiness, but today, self-sufficiency is the motto. Self-sufficiency can’t provide one with the feeling of completeness that interdependency and sharing and caring does… But denial, ignorance is the best way for the man of today and with such ease and panache, he turns a blind eye to all this and lives a shallow life, the repercussions of which create havoc in relationships…

The movie highlights singing and dancing even at the slightest sign of hope, neither did they have big brands to shop nor the luxury of the internet to get “everything”, still their faces lit up at the smallest thing and kept them alive and kicking for days to come. The kya-farak-padhta-hai-attitude has made permanent dents, not recognisable and repeated failure of not acknowledging will leave us in live- burials. Hiding, lying, dishonesty, cheating, insincerity were words unknown to them… Love could turn a stone to a human and todays’ man, turns love into a stone. Sad, what a terrible life we are leading, with a void big enough, which can not be filled by anything but love, however, that is brutally trampled even if given in abundance. Here, ones’ dreams have anyways lost value; the dreams of the other person are also crushed and walked on…

They knew the art of “uncomplicating” and loving, somehow along the path; we have gone astray and hence lost the art of loving as well…

Lets’ see how far can we go,

With such menace and shallow approach,

We shall try till we die,

Our love will get its’ pie,

The new gen-x will revert to the old,

Making love its’ only abode,

Leave the acts behind,

For gen-x should not get a glimpse of anything of your kind…

kahin toh milte honge...

इंसान से हैं इंसान का नाता अजीब,
नहीं जाता अब वो इंसान के करीब,
जिंदगी  की जधुजेहत में गुज़र जाता है वक़्त,
मायने नहीं रखता अब कोई रक्त,
कबसे बाहे फेलाए जिंदगी पुकारे,
आ देख प्यार के हसीं नज़ारे,
कहीं तो मिलते होंगे,
इंसान से इंसान हमारे...

धरती और गगन साथ चलते रहे,
दूरीयो की तुलना से जुढ़ते रहे,
स्पर्श एक का न महसूस किया दूजे ने,
पर रह न पाए दूर कभी एक दूजे से,
धरती चली कर कदम पे साथ,
कभी नदी, कभी पहाढ़, कभी बन के रेगिस्तान,
कहीं तो मिलते होंगे,
यह ज़मीन और आसमान...

ख्वाबो के परो ने सिखाया उड़ना हमें,
वास्तविकता ने वापिस जगाया हमें,
सच करने के जोश ने आगे बढाया हमें,
टूटे हुए सपनो ने कुछ तो सिखाया हमें,
बचपन में जिन्होंने झूलाया हमें,
उसी जिंदगी ने जवानी में झिंझोड़ा हमें,
कहीं तो मिलते होंगे,
यह ख्वाब और हकीकत के हसीं लम्हे...

जब से होश संभाला देखा साथ एक प्यार का,
किया इंतज़ार उस एहसास का,
नाज़ो से पाले, पलकों पे सजे,
मोहब्बत ही मोहब्बत, दुआ ये ही, हर कदम पे मिले,
जीं जान वारने को मन किया,
समुन्दर की गहराई तक इश्क करने को मन किया,
कहीं तो मिलते होंगे,
परियों को ऐसे राजकुमार,
दिल ने धड़कने का वादा सिर्फ इसी शर्त पे किया...

I owe you this…

Straight from childhood, a “meme” that is been with me with immense strength is- communication is most important and an absolute necessity. And it is only with communication that relationships become better, stronger and happier. The need to communicate and put my point across, whether professionally or personally, has been my priority all along. As I grew up, I left a few not-so-good habits only to adopt a new set of not-so-good habits, ;-), thereby being the same person with the same ratio of good and not-so-good habits, of different nature though…

I fight enough with those people who genuinely talk less encouraging or more appropriately, forcing, them to speak-up and express themselves. I do understand that most of this lot does not have the “capacity” to do that but that has never been a deterrent for me ;-), solely because I feel that the very reason human beings have been gifted with speech, implies they should talk and use it to their benefit for establishing harmony and more beautiful relationships. Also, I am no God, not anywhere near Him, and I do not have a strong maternal instinct to know and feel their needs and I am not here to understand the “implied”, just here to take what is being said!

While conversing with one of the darling Angels of my life, :-) she said something, which definitely shook this meme-

“Our relationship is beyond words and the expression they can offer. Ours is a relationship of abundance…”

I think I believe my childhood theory, though a testing hypothesis in real life will prove this way or that ;-)

This made me think and honestly, I am still contemplating, is this not the sole truth of life?? I mean it can keep relationships wonderful and intact at least for a lifetime. I have heard my mom saying it enough times, “I can’t understand why I need to say I love you everyday, is it not obvious? Why do I need to talk and tell my expectations and my botheration, can you not figure out what I feel…?” Etc etc… and I have and I still do always emphasised, telling her, “mom, you should speak up- it is important to express what you feel for a person and it is imperative to articulate what is your need and expectations from that person, so that the relationship is streamlined and we are on the same track with similar objectives to achieve.”

On numerous other occasions, with friends (though lesser times!), relatives and of course, the breed we call Boyfriends… Uff!!! :-( It is a perpetual problem with them-it is in their genes not to express, “…understand I love you and I am here for you, (irrespective of how I treat you and behave and whether I give time and whether I can take you home and whether its’ been months that I expressed my love for you…… but I love you- UNDERSTAND!)” and lets’ not even get to their talk on expectations, people like us who express are living in a fools’ paradise and we should get REALISTIC, and people like THEM who “know-it-all” are sure that we should meet all their criteria and expectations, almost all of them unsaid and unexpressed… because we are “suppose” to identify with them extremely well… rules of the game are different for us and them!!!

But now, tables seem to be getting reversed… after what I heard from my angel, I have started to feel, in retrospect as well as in present, a close relationship once near achieved its’ fullness and contentment and is secured, after having had enough talks ;-) is here to stay… the feeling of “taken for granted” should not set in as it is hazardous to the health of the relationship but if the small activities of daily life are taken care of sensitively, relationships like these transform them into this rare category of “The Relationship of Abundance” where it is a beautiful fairy world where holding hands have more value than “I Love You”, where feeling the need and just being by the side without the analytical bend of addressing it is placed higher than demanding attention, where silence is actually gold for heart beats have more meaning than words, where the lunar of love never sets and is shining bright alongside the solar of iternity…

Meena Di, I owe you this… for opening this door for me and innocently being My Guiding Angel (for about a year now) :-) channelising my energy towards nourishing heart-warming relationships for life and making a little capable to take care of my worldly duties :-)

I bow down with immense gratitude for sharing with me this bond of an uncommon-diamond-relationship...

Jai Guru Dev! :-)

I FELL IN LOVE…

We have grown up with coffee and it has been around us, being our friend at all times. It is an indispensible part of our life, whether to strike a conversation, make-up with partners or have fun with friends.

My relationship with coffee has been a little different… it was never a necessity for my health, neither a totka to keep me awake, therefore, I have avoided it all along, it has been in my life just giving a sprinkler-effect…

Being more of a milk person because of its’ softness and care, I never really got attracted to coffee, for its’ strength seems hard to endure.

But a twist came in the kahani when I travelled to Tamil Nadu. A small town in Tamil Nadu by the name of Mayiladuthurai welcomed us with open arms and we, almost instantly, fell in love with the serenity and the calmness of the city. Such is our country, presenting a vast variety, ranging from the maddening Mumbai to the self-paced Delhi to the relaxed Chandigarh to the beautiful Bangalore to a chilled-out Goa and now, a calm, quiet town. One can never get enough of this country.

Spiritual activities kept us busy during the day. It was only at night when we stepped out for a meal, I met coffee. This time the meeting was a lot different than the previous ones. It came in a different package, neither in one of those big ceramic cups of Barista, nor in the plastic ones of the CCD, it was in a small glass of steel with a small utensil under it, like one chotu sa patila, really miniature one… I kept wondering if I am suppose to drink the spilled coffee from the patila as well but decided not to as it already looked beyond my capacity to drink it (it was dark brown!!). As I took its’ first sip, it seemed I was drinking it for the first time, and I ended up drinking from the patila as well. Though the coffee and the uttapam was priced the same, it was still very economical, just 20 bucks…

The two days we stayed there, I did not skip the famous Filter Coffee, not because of its’ popularity but because of its’ taste, its’ strength yet its’ smoothness and charm swept me off my feet and my love for coffee began…

Although I did not get the same coffee in Delhi after that, now I drink it with taste and have been adoring it for the combo it offers- the crisp flavour, the smooth texture, the rich fragrance, the royal love… (pun intended!) ;-)

and I fell in love... this time with coffee

hmmm...

Ishq ne apna jaadu phir chalaya,
Ek hamare hi jaise ko sab kuch bhulaya,
Nain hue bandh,
Dhadkan badi zabardast…

Yeh mohabbat ka nasha badhta hi jaaye,
Yeh diwaangi ka suroor chadta hi jaaye,
Yeh junoon hain apna asar hi dikhaaye,
Yeh rog hain jaan lekar hi jaaye…

Wo pal jab hanse hum ikathe,
Wo pal jab thama unhone hamein girte-girte,
Wo pal jab raat ki hui subah baat karte-karte,
Wo pal jab hue pass yuh hi safar par nikalte…

Kya kya hum bhoolein,
Kaun kaunse ehsaas ko chupaaye,
Kabhi socha nah kal ka,
Shaayad isliye unko rok nah paaye…

Pooch baithte hain wo humse, is pyar ki vajah,
Pooche koi unse,
Khyaal karte toh nah hote, hum hain jahan,
Jao, rakho dil pe ek baari apna haath,
Mohabbat kar, chalo kissi ke saath,
Tab hoga yeh ehsaas,
Yeh ishq na jaane dimaag ki koi bhi baat…

Aazma le- aazma le, aaj khud ko aazmaale, phirta hain kabse yeh dil sambhale- THE SACREDNESS OF LIFE

Our world expands as we age… from a toddler to an adult, our life transforms itself at every stage, oblivious to our observance, most of the time, but it does change. Our circle inflates from our mother to our immediate family and further to our friends and then a complete set of strangers become our “family”, leaving the real family behind. Subtly, these modifications lead to the deviations in our emotions as well, making the dents irreparable…

Love is our basic nature and so is the sense of belongingness, care is what we do all do and affection is what we all give and receive. But as we age, the capacity to love dies a natural but unnatural death. It seems a logical deduction of the life that we are living based on a series of incidents we experience and hence, looks the most likely outcome. However, it is opposite to our core, our core is to love, love unconditionally, love is not an emotion; it is our being… therefore, it is unnatural not to love and stay away from giving (and receiving!!) your affection to people who come in your life. Unfortunately, experiences lead our lives and the poor soul suffers all along.

As kids, love comes rather naturally to us. We love all around us, see life through rose-coloured glasses and are playful; as we grow, we age chronologically, our hair do turn grey but rarely with wisdom. It is surprising to see the wisdom a child has- he has no apprehensions, no expectations, no conclusions and absolutely no hang-ups in life. He is ignorant of the harsh realities of life which ironically is created by himself in his later years… and he just dances to the music of life, and flows in the direction of the waves effortlessly, yet so gracefully.

The first experience outside our cocoon really happens as we start schooling, that first fight we have with our newly-made friend, the first scolding we get from our teacher, the mockery we face when we have our first fall in public, and this triggers a journey in the “reverse gear”. By the time we complete our schooling, fights with folks are frequent, crushes crush you to a great extent, teachers expect the hell out of you and your affairs leave you half-finished; leaving no space for the real development of you, leading us away, far away from the real purpose of our life. Somewhere down the lane, love has been replaced by this tag of being “cool” and “chilled out” at everything coming your way, nothing bothers you or as a matter of fact, nothing “moves” you. The previous generation has reached this stage near to their retirement age and the generation previous to the previous, did not reach in their lifetime, it is sad to be a part of the current Gen-Y experiencing such turmoil so early in life!!!

Then we somehow gather the courage, once again, this time effort being almost half, when we enter college and then experience the corporate or the household life. Our reactions to people have changed and our emotions have taken a back seat. Logic drives us and ego feeds us constantly, not letting life takes its’ expected course. Our core is covered by layers and layers of hard-unbreakable, sound-proof wall of indifference.

Life goes on but we remain moribund, inert in our approach to “approach” people, the fear of the past experiences haunts us so badly that we fear ourselves and dread our emotions. We might “fall” in love again and “falter “again, therefore, the safest is not to know your emotions yourself. But had “being safe” our centre, the human race would not have progressed so far scientifically and technologically; above all Adam would not have even thought of eating the forbidden fruit…. So when we have either followed our instincts or followed our logic so well and hard, why is it so difficult to follow our heart? Why have we “enveloped” ourselves and are not willing to dive in…. What stops us?

The apprehension will remain until we step up and feel the air around; its’ time to move out of vacuum and feel our emotions completely, for life is a blessed gift, which can be nurtured only by: “loving as we have never been hurt” :-)

At Crossroads...

Coincidence is, anyways, an incident,
Producing a dent without a precedent,
Neither planned nor static,
It is life’s nature to be erratic,
Standing at crossroads of life,
Which way to go, please guide…

Life takes its’ course,
Still orders us never to be remorse,
Thought produces action,
Thoughtlessness leads to passion,
Standing at crossroads of life,
Which way to go, please guide…

Little pleasures make our day,
Takes us through in its’ way,
Life is a gift,
Only when questions are not lift,
Standing at crossroads of life,
Which way to go, please guide…


Emotions in abundance,
Expression will only give thunders,
To go with the flow,
Or rule from the word go,
Standing at crossroads of life,
Which way to go, please guide…

Destination is fixed,
How can the path be jinxed,
Chaos or order,
Nothing to ponder,
Crossroads will lead to joy,
Just chill back and enjoy…